Sunday, October 5, 2008

back to work

After coming back from my trip to Asia on Wednesday after midnight(theoratically Thursday early morning), I had a short sleep and went straight back to work in the morning.It is when I suffered from jet lag that I realized I was no longer a 20 year old! For a few days I have been feeling sleepy when I should be awake and waking up when I should be sleeping, but hopefully after some caffine everything should be back to normal starting tomorrow. :)
I bought a lot of pearls in Hong Kong and they are of much better quality than most of the pearls I have been using so far. I was excited and eager to go back to create new designs with my new pearls. My studio is again in a herendous mess because I kept digging my old pearls out to compare with my new pearls, and before long I noticed I was bothered by the same problem I had experienced more than once in my life -- I constantly outgrew myself and became unhappy with my creations, and now I am unhappy with the old pearl stock I have.I wonder why I can never be satisfied with what I have and be happy.I always seem to have a "need" to improve my art, and this need makes me struggle, pushes me to work more and create differently.After a long struggle, my understanding towards the media I work on would deepen, and I would come to a "rest point" where I would stop and and look at my work with this unspeakable gratification, but not before long I would start struggling again with the materials,forms,tools,vocabulary and everything that is used to, needed for or related to my art.
And even though I know this is a never ending journey -- which I have travelled multiple times as a fine artist, writer and musician -- I still failed to escape it as a jewelry designer.I suppose the way I approach my creations has more to do with who I am than the medium I work on.I can't help but wonder if my customers see it in my work..

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